Time with Dad... Part two...

It was a whirl wind of a few weeks...But I got to spend five days with my father at Guy's Hospital, London. Sadly, he has been undergoing intense cancer treatments and has a mass of tumours covering his body. He is being a tower of strength despite everything. I  had not seen him in such a long time, too long...He lives on the east coast and I am on the west coast and I just couldnt afford the journeys, but myself and my twin managed to get a last minute B&B and took the megabus coach to keep costs low. London is so expensive!.  But I just didnt care I wanted to be my father's side and give him a well needed hug.  I was quite shocked to see him and all the weight he has lost. I held his hand and we talked of childhood memories...we laughed, we cried and we hugged a lot. The main thing is he's keeping strong and keeping positive. At the moment he has quite a lot of treatments going on and while he is undergoing that it completely takes his energy and leaves him wanting to sleep all the time.  But in the next 4 weeks we hope he will see signs of improvement. Cancer is a horrid thing it really is. But he might just beat it and we hope he can lead a as 'normal' life as possible. So, as you can imagine since I arrived back to Devon from London I was an emotional wreck!. Everything hit me like a ton of bricks...Also the intense guilt of leaving him on the ward and walking away...But its so hard when you have a family back home that need you and life goes on...I walked around for a whole week in some kind of daze...physically I felt exhausted.  It had been a tough few days. No one wants to see their Loved one in pain. But I needed that time with Dad. I've been on the phone to him everyday and getting regular updates... I'm hoping in the Summer Holidays before Sophia starts her Secondary school I can go and spend another week in London or at Dads home depending where he will be.  

On another note, Boy' it has been mega hot in Devon. I am not complaining...But i do love the sun when i'm in the shade. 

Until next time,

x    K a z z y    x

From May to June...(part one)

Hello there from the sunny side of Devon...Its been a busy few months with family, School life and work. We've all been totally exhausted of late...Actually, I felt more tired after the half term break.  But today, I have given myself a good hour or so with Coffee cup in one hand laptop in the other to just catch up really...

I have had so much going on lately and one big thing laying on my mind is my Father's health. He is now undergoing treatment for a rare Cancer and been in Hospital in London for nearly three weeks. Its left us all as a family 'shaken' and with 'worry' of what lays a head for him. I speak on the phone to him nearly everyday. But I am on the west coast and he is on the east coast and with that I cannot just visit him and help him the best way I can/want to. I have felt so utterly filled with guilt and sadness.  My father and I are so close~ we have always had such a great relationship and I miss him greatly. And now he needs me more than ever...So as you can imagine its been a roller coaster of emotions lately...I pray so hard he responds to the treatment and can lead as 'normal life' as possible in the years to come...As long as my Father can paint, draw and be out walking the salt marshes and doing his bird counts for RSPB he is a happy soul...

My father taught us from a very early age to appreciate the seasons, wildlife and nature around us. He was a keen ornithologist, Illustrator of many Bird, Sea life books, sold his artwork for the Wildlife Trusts around the East Anglia coastline. Run conservation trips around the world. Designed popular Wildlife brochures and leaflets...and other achievements. His love of wild life runs deep in me...especially helps my mental health. I crave the outdoors, walking...taking a note of what the land has to offer and enjoying the seasons. My Father even ran a small wildlife rescue...Growing up we had a rescue fox that lived with us, barn owl and many small birds...I was always a 'wild' child at heart...

Lately, we have been doing a lot of walking and exploring the Devon and Cornwall Coastline and Country...Its helped me 'escape' from some real 'low eb' moments. To just breath in the sea air for an hour or so has been just the tonic to de-stress.

(  Slapton Sands ) 

( Mount Edgecumbe ~National Trust country Park and Coast)

'Out of the Dark come the Light'...

'Forget-me-not'...be blue and beautiful.

'Blooming Blooms'

(church yard bluebells)

The sun light has filled the kitchen through May to June...

The Tulips, Sweet William and and roses have filled the home with sent and colour...

('Rising Sun' Cornwall...Along the river path)

I have so many photos from my phone and camera...So I think I will have to do a part two.

The Sunshine and blue skies has really come at the best possible time for me...

I hope you have been enjoying it too.

x   K a z z y   x